24 November 2006

I know I've known this

Have you ever stood next to a flock of birds as they flew away from you? That deafening white noise made by the wind and their wings?? You cannot talk above that sound.

Every jewel heist movie from the '70s had some really tan guy with silver hair and blue eyes. He retired, I just learned.

When you have bad news to deliver, consider delivering it in a good news sandwich. They're happy to see you, you have bad news, then you have good news again -- as a departure.

If ever a friend asks you for something that seems excessive, grant it to your friend. It took that person a lonnnng time to work up the nerve and swallow their pride to ask.

On a road with three lanes, drive in the center lane.

Women date younger men for the same reasons : stamina, skin, ego boost.

When they say "If you don't use it, you lose it" They're talking about stamina.

Thanksgiving is like Christmas, without the gifts. You see the family and eat a lot of food and then you get tired of each other again.

In order to control your fears, you must do what you fear most.

For a child, receiving a toy without batteries on Christmas is like an adult male meeting a very beautiful lesbian.

If you think you can, or think you cannot, you are almost always correct.

Drug experimentation in youth? It's okay to walk on the sidewalk, just be sure to wait until the concrete is dry. Wait until your 20s to try new chemical things.

Pain is just weakness escaping your body.

The line between making an ass out of yourself and being funny is a very fine one.

It's important to check the brakes on fast women.

You have to create your own life; carve it out like a sculpture.

Everything in moderation --- including moderation.

Don't over exert yourself in your work, a sport, whatever the endeavor. There not the same, but you have to let the tank refill before you can flush the toilet again. You can't just pull the lever twice in a row.

Make sure and save one night a month for a night out with the boys. And, don't waste it on the boys.

Humor arrives in the form of our greatest fears and our greatest disappointments.

Always listen to your inner voice.


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