When I met Mr. Coffee

I will confess to being a part-time Caffiend and part-time Gadgetaholic. So, Mr. Coffee must go, as I have already purchased and installed a programmable coffee maker + the requisite webcam to identify the person in our office who pours a full cup and leaves about a quarter inch of coffee in the pot --- without making a fresh one for everyone to share.

When I met Mr. Coffee, nobody told me I’d be changing his diaper every single day just so that I could get my buzz on!
It has become all part of the daily grind, after he burps out the final drops of the day’s brew. I feel that doing it 2x a day is an excessive interruption while I prepare my TPS reports for the next day’s meeting.

So, off you go, Mr. Coffee: to Whomever wishes to adopt you, the paperwork has already been completed on your behalf. Simply give him a ride back to your place. He’s already trained and well-seasoned for tomorrow’s coffee shift. He's had no surgery to date. He’s thumbing a ride near the front door of the Capitola DMV.

I’ll miss you, Mr. Coffee.

And, I never even knew your first name.
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i'll fill this in chronologically